30 Days of Otherkin Challenge

Probably gonna do this over here. I’ve been inspired to write about ‘kin things as of late, but we all know how great Tumblr is for that. *eyeroll*

Beyond Awakening

I wanted some prompts for writing about otherkin, but the original 30 Day Non-Human Challenge was not open-ended enough of a prompt series for my tastes. I decided to make my own, modeled in style more closely after the 30 Days of Paganism meme. Feel free to modify and adjust the below to your heart’s content. I’ll be completing this challenge over on Tumblr.

30 Days of Otherkin

  1. Identity: Current
  2. Identity: History/development
  3. Identity: How/why you are otherkin
  4. Identity: Other aspects of your identity (in addition to/besides your otherkin identity)
  5. Identity: Doubts
  6. Kintype(s): Facts and fiction
  7. Kintype(s) Interactions (with your kintype or with others of the same kintype as you)
  8. Kintype(s): Mythology, legends, lore
  9. Kintype(s): What’s it like to be your kintype?
  10. Kintype(s): Common misconceptions
  11. Community: Online
  12. Community: Offline
  13. Community: Family
  14. Community: Friends
  15. Community: Significant others
  16. Being otherkin: Challenges
  17. Being otherkin: Shifting (or lack thereof)
  18. Being otherkin: Reincarnation and past-life…

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Elf Magic Mail

Nifty Otherkin history.

The Silver Elves Blog

Elf Magic Mail: Book 1, the original letters of the Elf Queen’s Daughters with Commentary by the Silver Elves These letters…dearest kin… were written by the Elf Queen’s Daughters and contain within them the roots of the Otherkin movement. The following is the introduction of the book Elf Magic Mail that we have compiled of these original letters by the EQD and we have included a sample writing of one letter with the commentary by the Silver Elves.

Keldas Zet Ton Na Tarsalunin Sol (Running wild on a moonlit night),
The Silver Elves
Our Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/silver.elves
Our Website: http://silverelves.angelfire.com

Be sure an scroll under the following image of Elf Magic Mail to read sample of book:


From the Introduction of Elf Magic Mail:


In 1974, a pair of sisters—Arwen and Elanor—calling thems’elves the Elf Queen’s Daughters emerged upon the Pagan/Wiccan scene. They wrote fascinating esoteric letters of elven lore and…

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I Owe a Large Debt to Myself.

At the time that I am writing this post, I am wracked with anxiety. I don’t know why I am so fucking scared of life, but I am. I have been for a long time.

But I’m still here. Very surprisingly.

Months ago, I tried to do the Pagan Blog project, but of course I didn’t keep up with it. I couldn’t tell you why. I’ve wanted nothing more than to contribute to the greater pagan community since I joined in 2006. I’ve gone through dreams of being a high priest, legal clergy, author, and many other things, and I’ve always wanted to do something for others with my faith. That’s why I made this blog–because Tumblr is full of drama and people who are too self-absorbed to care about creating a better environment and fostering intelligent and civil dialogue about modern issues.

That’s all I really wanted. I want to serve a community.

That’s always what I felt my purpose in life is: To serve others.

But with that comes a lack of service to myself.

Since the age of 11, I have suffered from depression. Add to that 7+ years of emotional abuse, and I ended up with co-morbid general anxiety disorder and PTSD. Throw in being transgender and queer in a family of conservative Christian rednecks who were all born in the 50’s and it gets worse. I have little to no support from the people who were supposedly in charge of me and charged with caring for me.

For a long time, I felt hopeless about my situation. I couldn’t win. I couldn’t help myself or be happy in any way. So I focused all my efforts on making the people I loved happy. I would ignore my own needs constantly and swallow my concerns and complaints because I knew it was dangerous to me to voice them. Even after my stepdad was gone, I still couldn’t do anything to help myself. I was trapped.

So about a month ago, I finally just…left. I did what I felt previously wasn’t an option, and I simply left the house.

I was suicidal to the point that I was fantasizing about running out into the busy street in front of my house, and when I ran out after a fight with my mother, I damn near did. I’m not entirely sure why I chose instead to plant myself on the ground instead. But I chose to live and went to the hospital instead. I then spent a few days with my ex-partners, who decided to break up with me while I was there. And after their (unfortunately unmedicated) paranoid schizophrenic stepmother threatened to call the cops on me because she thought I was going to kill her, I came back down to Maryland and finally thought to stay with an ex’s family who loved me like their own kid.

So that’s where I am now, struggling to get a job so I can pay rent.

I had to do all this just to get to a place where I can get support.

And I realize that all this was in service to myself.

I’ve always had a hard time being “selfish.” I never wanted to be rude or make other people feel bad. I never wanted to inconvenience others in any way with my presence. But now I’ve been forced into a position where I have to take care of myself, and that sometimes involves me asking other people to help take care of me. And that’s hard.

I’ve had to ask people for money. I’ve had to ask to live in their homes. I’ve had to ask for help.

I’ve had to be selfish.

In service to myself.

And that’s fucking hard.

It’s the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn in my life. Being selfish.

And that is what I present as my return to this blog. Self-interest is divine. Please don’t forget to serve yourself as you serve others. Or you will owe yourself a much bigger debt than you will ever know how to pay.


Astral Dreamspaces

So, I’ve just now realized that certain places I’ve visited over and over in dreams are likely astral spaces.

Last night in my dreams, I made another trip to the woods behind my house, which always lead to interesting places. Whenever I visit in dreams, I remember places in those woods that I’ve been before in other dreams. Sometimes I can even revisit the same places. There’s a rickety tree fort type place, a few playgrounds around farmhouses, and if you go back far enough, a hill and field where I watched a fireworks celebration once and a garden path with lots of vines leading to a gate that opens to an old town.

But beyond that…back when I was younger and kept a more solid dream journal, I realized a few patterns in my dreams and important or reoccurring characters. I eventually started collecting them into what I called the dream zodiac. Some things were places Id been multiple times, other things were characters Id seen more than once, or that stood out to me.

One of them that I remember was a sort of cavern deep underground. I can’t remember all the ways I accessed it, but one of the ways I got to it on more than one occasion was through the garden of an actual house in my neighborhood at the time. I had only been there a few times, that I remember, and I haven’t gone back in a long time, but that place may have been an astral location as well, now that I think about it. I would remember the location and how to access it, and would remember past adventures there every time.

I don’t know so much about the people I encounter. Some are very possibly spiritual beings I meet when I visit these places. I think that fireworks celebration I attended at the field in my woods was an actual thing happening there on that plane. And the man I met in the woods last night was also very likely some spiritual being wandering through. But other characters in my dreams are simply characters or ideas or representations of things in my waking world. Its interesting now that I’ve realized this.

Ive spent so much time trying to consciously project myself out of my body that I’ve never stopped to consider that I might be able to access astral space through dreams. And now that I have finally gotten it through my skull, I think this might be something I focus on a bit more…hm.

Neat. :B

New Beginnings

Hello. If you’re here, its likely you came from Tumblr, where I got tired of the bullshit and drama. If not, then you’re also welcome.

A little about me: Im a young FtM fellow who has been pagan since about 2006. I hopped around from Wicca to eclectic paganism to…gods know where for years, until I finally approached Loki (who I’d had something akin to a schoolgirl crush on for a while) and set my feet slowly and clumsily along a more Heathen path. Now I consider myself….something. Im sort of recon-derived…and also eclectic…and…other things. Honestly, I care less about how others tell me to worship and far more about how my gods tell me to worship. If Loki wants me to hold a fancy blot for Him, I will. If He wants me to worship Him by eating nothing but PBJ sandwiches for a week, then I will. *shrugs* That’s how it goes.

Im also a beloved of Loki’s (and eventually a godspouse, though that hasn’t happened yet). I tend to be quiet about it, but here is the one place I think I’ll end up talking about it a little more. Because it is important to me, and the blog title is derived from something I have to tell myself often: that “Beloved” is an unconditional title. No matter how I feel about myself, or how I mess up, or in what ways I manage to make myself looks stupid, I know He still loves me.

And that’s what keeps me going, most days.

Welcome to my blog, friend. Enjoy, and know that YMMV.