La Petit Mort–Erotic Devotional Poetry

Devil; you crawl into my

bed all hands and knees and
teeth and

I’m all open legs
and eyes closed in prayer–

hands clasped
to headboard–

bed and body
shaking and breath

short.

You

whisper like
every fevered fantasy

that we will die
a thousand little deaths

together.

I’m your possession; My God
you are my savior

and I’m your little boy
with hands down his pants.

Save me from my sin
with your holy lips

mumbling hymns
into my thighs

and coax repentance
from my desperate form

sweating and begging
for whatever is the opposite of

mercy.

I want the fires of
your Hell, and Heaven

is feeling you
inside me.

I will speak in
tongues and burn

with the fires
of your Love.

I am willingly
your servant–

the lover of
a devil with a thousand names

and a Silver Tongue.

Anoint me with your
holy oil and claim me

for eternity.

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I got high and wrote these letters to Loki and family as I came down from it. (WordPress is being dumb, you might have to go to my blog and read it there)

——————

I wear two loves on my hands like a scale, balancing love. I’m alchemy and I think I’m coming down from my ship. My wings are burning up like Icarus’s because I flew too close to the sun. I just want to touch the stars because this Earth isn’t the Earth I know. This is cold grease and people who spit acid, when i want toes in the ground like roots that become trees for gnomes. I want sunshine in my mouth and filling every cavity and vein and pore and pouring out of me like cum. I want good sex. Like the kind We have but I wish I could actually touch your skin and kiss you. I want to get messy and roll around and muss up your pretty hair. You know I love you. I just wish I could feel better someday. I wish I were better. Im not amazing. Im angry and primitive and sometimes kinda gross and lazy and I smell funny and look funny and don’t know what Im doing half the time but apparently you think that’s cool so good for us.

Im glad I married you, really. Other people die and leave and treat you like shit for stupid reasons and make you want to pack up all your shit at 3:42am and throw it in the back of your shitty car and leave forever, maybe go to Rhode Island or something. But you’re not gonna do that. Because you want to help me for some reason. ❤ Maybe you like how I dance. I like to think that you like to watch me dance. It’s fun to dance when Im high because I’m just limbs moving around in air, as opposed to the water of sobriety. I just sway around and twist and fold and whirl around like wind or an eel. It feels really nice.

I’m sorry Im not as good a devotee as I could be. I could do so much more, I think. But maybe I do too much? Or i don’t live right? I dunno.

Your wife Sigyn is precious. Hello, Lady Sigyn. You’re so strong. I admire you so much. Please help me to be as strong because Im really not these days. There’s no air to breathe anymore and Im slowly fighting the carbon monoxide in my lungs. It’s not easy. But Loki is helpful. If you could teach me how to hang on tightly that would be nice. Thank you. You’re beautiful and I will never forget you or your children. Please ask if you ever want anything from me. I’ll try my best to hear you. ❤

Vali, I know what it’s like to want everyone to leave you alone. I get angry a lot and want everyone to go away because they screw things up for me. I know it’s not the same. But I want you to know you’re not forgotten. People still love you. We know your story and try to understand. I would like to know what you were like before it, but I also realize you are what you are now. That’s how I feel sometimes. You can’t change the evils that change you. You just accept the new you and continue living. I wont forget you. Thank you.

Narvi, I wont forget you either. Or your brother. Or your mother. And I hope you’re enjoying your quite place in Hela’s realm. I guess it’s not too bad being with your big sister? I hope not.

Hela, I know we dont speak much. I guess our paths just dont cross often. But I do respect you so much. Thank you for doing what you do. It’s very important to take care of the dead. I could do a better job, I think. Maybe you can help me to understand what it’s like and why it’s so important and I can learn to do a better job. Thank you.

Fenris. I think of you at odd times. I know your father loves you. I’m  sorry you had to be chained. But Im also glad for my life. Thank you for being a reminder to us of the things we lock up, why we lock them up, and that we shouldnt deny them all the time.

Jormundgandr, you’re a mystery to me. I hear you slither around the planet, scale sliding over rock and grass and through water, but you dont speak. You dont reach out to me and I dont to you. But Im glad to know you. You began, in a way, my relationship with your father. Thank you.

Angrboda, whether you’re a wife, consort, queen, or short-term lover, I know you’re important to Him. I feel like you knew Him at a time when He was still young. I bet you have countless stories to tell. Maybe one day we can share a drink and exchange. May I not disappoint you. Hail, Hagia of the Iron Wood.